Mike Huckabee Monologue

Scene: The Present, Disney World – Florida. A man, who is sick of both Disney and Mike Huckabee snaps and takes out his aggressions on a Donald Duck mascot.

Huckabee Hater: Mike Huckabee and his wanna-be-ninja-boyfriend Chuck Norris recently announced that they were going on a Mickey Mouse Campaign to win the hearts of Florida primary voters. Shit, Huckabee’s whole campaign is Mickey Mouse if you ask me. He is just another phony and I am sick of that snake charmer motherfucker. I can’t stand that guy, seriously.

Chuck Norris would make an excellent secretary of defense because he never sleeps, he just waits. But I am not going to elect Mike Huckabee pope to do it. This whole thing makes me furious and I am going to strike someone down if I don’t calm down soon. I need to punch something in the face. Hey, its Donald Duck.

“Come here, you fucking imperialistic Duck. I want to have a word with you.”

“What’s that?”

[Donald Duck screaming]

“Yeah you like that, you fucking duck, don’t you.”

“Hey who the fuck are you guys? Let go of my arms dude.”

“Hey, it was the fucking Duck’s fault. Mike Huckabee made me do it.”

Authors note: This is a work of fiction. I want to say that I have nothing but respect for Chuck Norris who is one of the kindest people that I have ever known. I met Chuck twice as a kid although, he would never remember me. Still, he is awesome. No comment on Mike Huckabee. I will say not to take this seriously. This is not a political blog. Mike Huckabee just sparked some inspiration and it does not reflect the views of the author.